damas

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As your quinceañera approaches, of course you’re super excited…you want to invite the world to party with you! But before you start asking every amiga you have to be a dama, take some time to think your choices over. You don’t want to create future "dama drama"!

Lots of friends are going to want to be invited to your quince court, because who doesn’t like to get dressed up and feel special? Once you make the commitment to them, you wont be able to un-invite them without hurting their feelings. Nobody wants the rotten reputation of a "comparona," which is Dominican slang for a snob.

If your quinceañera is very far away, your relationships could change — like if you change schools — and you may make new amigas who you want to invite. Be certain when you pick your damas that you are a choosing those girls for the right reasons. Ask yourself:

1. Will she show up at every dance rehearsal?
2. Will she help me to address my invitations, to make my favors, and to run other errands — with a smile?
3. Will she be jealous of the attention I receive on my big day?
4. Will she be picky about what kind of dress or color I ask her to wear?

If your cousin or next-door neighbor is not your closest friend, don't feel obligated to make her a dama just because you see her all the time. That could result in dama drama…oh, have I heard stories! One quince girl told me that she had chosen a specific hairstyle for her damas. Some of them didn't like it, so they changed it at the last minute without telling her! She didn’t know until they walked out onto the dance floor.

Another girl told me that she found one of her damas smooching her chambelán de honor in the girl’s bathroom. This main chambelán happened to be the guy the quince girl had a crush on. Ouch.

Do you chicas have any stories of dama drama?

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Rather than choosing one dress shape for all your damas, why not choose one color, and let each dama pick a shape that suits her body type? Remember, you can further justify the expense of the dress if your friend LOVES it and would want to wear it again!

Here are my tips for dressing damas in all shapes and sizes:

SUPERSKINNY DAMAS
She’s perfect for the sheath, a body-hugging silhouette with a slim bodice and skirt. If she’s self-conscious about being “flaca,” draw attention away from her small frame and to her neckline or face with accessories.

FULL-FIGURED DAMAS
For round-all-over chicas, use an A-Line style, also known as “princesa style.” It adds length to the body and reduces width, giving a slimming effect. If it has a V-neck or scoop neck, it’s even more flattering.

WIDE-WAISTED DAMAS
If she is thicker in the middle (cuadradas), a princesa-style dress again minimizes the waistline, because it’s fitted at the waist and then flares out.

PEAR-SHAPED (BOTTOM-HEAVY) DAMAS
If your dama is self-conscious about her thighs, hips, “nalgas,” or all of the above, the most favorable dress is one with an empire waist. This style flares below the bust area, taking attention away from the hips and providing good coverage on the back.

HEAVY-ON-THE-TOP DAMAS
This is my body type. My ideal style is off-the-shoulder. Make sure not to have beading on the chest area, because it draws extra attention. Strapless dresses bring too much attention to the arms, which makes ME uncomfortable, but if you don’t mind, go for it. Strapless makes your shoulders and face the focal point.

Regardless of the shape, I love short dresses for damas. They are young, hip, and contemporary and especially fun for spring and summer. I also love using the same color and fabric in a variation of silhouettes.

Please remember to share your unique ideas for damas. This is an area where everybody needs help!

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What is a princess without a gown? Your dress is easily the most important detail of your quinceañera. It reflects your personality and style. But no pressure, seriously! Shopping for your dress is going to be a lot of fun. Pretend you’re putting on a fashion show — try on several styles, even if you don’t like one at first. You should choose your dress at least six months in advance to allow time to make alterations and find the perfect shoes, accessories, and undergarments.

When you find the dress you love (your heart will jump when you look in the mirror!), buy it and stop looking. Trust me, after a while all the dresses you see will start looking alike. You don’t want to lose the one that felt special. Now that you have your dress, you can start thinking about your damas.

Damas are to a quinceañera what maids are to a bride. Although the quince girl may have as many as she wishes, tradition calls for 14 damas. They all dress alike. I know what you’re thinking: Each girl is a different shape and has a different style — fashion disaster waiting to happen! But it’s not!

It is possible to please everyone. Choose the fabric and color, and then let each dama pick the dress style that flatters her figure (whether it’s V-neck, halter top, empire waist, strapless, etc.). This way, she’ll feel comfortable and everyone’s unique styles match. You may also pick a simple dress design and let each dama choose a color from choices you offer. Rainbow quinceañeras are a smart idea, because they give you more options when coordinating other details, like the centerpieces and flowers.

Do you have your dress already? How did you know your dress was “the one”?

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