Family

Not sure what to write inside your quinceañera invitations? First, decide how formal you want the words to be. Who is paying for or organizing your quinceañera? Are your parents paying for everything together? If only one parent is paying, then he or she should be the one inviting. Follow this example:

Mr. & Mrs. Manuel Lopez (or Mrs. Lucia Lopez)

Request the honor of your presence at

The quinceañera of their (or his/her) daughter,

Jennifer Griselda Lopez-Macias

Saturday, the twentieth of October

Two thousand and nine

Two o'clock in the afternoon

Sacred Heart Church

Jersey City, New Jersey

Reception to follow.

If everyone in the family is contributing, then consider starting with the family name. (Click READ MORE to see the example.)

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On your big day, you will be sooo busy that you'll hardly have time to snap your own photos. Even if you hire a photographer, my first tip is to always designate a dama or chambelán to coordinate las fotos. The photographer does not know which of your amigos y familia are most special to you, so it's best to have a loved one guide him or her around.

Next, think about inviting your photographer to la iglesia or the hall beforehand. This might be at your rehearsal. It's important for the photographer to observe the lighting and the setting. It's also your chance to explain the types of shots you're looking for. If the photographer isn't used to the quinceañera rite, this is especially important. He or she might miss the small moments that are very special.

If you're not hiring a photographer, ask loved ones or members of your court to help out. When everyone else is snapping pictures of you, make sure there are at least one or two people capturing the expressions of papi y mami, because they will be priceless! For parents, letting go of su niña is never easy, so these photos will be full of emotion.

Here's a recap of must-have moments for your photo album:

• Getting ready - these shots might include you and your damas checking yourselves out in the mirror, your chambelanes tightening their bowties, your máma brushing her hair, etc.
• Grand entrances - you and your court at the church and/or hall
• All major ceremony rituals: The changing of the shoe, crowning, presentation of flowers to the Virgin Mary, lighting of candles, dance with Dad, etc.
• Eyewitnesses - Shots of guests (parents especially) watching the ceremony
• Any speaker, emcee, singer, or reader
• The ceremony location, both inside and out
• Exits - your padres and abuelos, you and your court
• Getting into the limo
• Close-up of special items, like your tiara, last doll, bouquet, the Bible
• First dance with Dad
• Parents dancing
• Tables, especially yours and those of close family members
• The food and cake, before anyone eats
• You cutting the cake
• The gift table
• The band or DJ
• The dancing!!

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If you are a princesa, then your papá must be "King Dad." It's very exciting to get dressed up for an evening of celebration, especially when everyone’s celebrating YOU. But even more exciting is to know that on this night when you become a princess, you get to have your first dance with the KING.

Instead of your dad giving away your hand in marriage, he’ll be holding on tight and you’ll be celebrating a father-daughter bond. How precious is that? Your relationship will last for the rest of your life and make you stronger.

I will never forget my daddy’s big, rough hand resting on the top of my head as he told me to be strong, and reminded me that girls can be anything they want to be. (That's him and I dancing, when I was a teen.) “I’ll always be behind you,” he said. To this day, I still feel like he’s watching over me and I am never alone.

Dads are there for us. They protect us and support us in many ways. It’s a privilege to have a quinceañera, and your dad is probably paying for most of it. But it’s also a privilege for your dad to have the first dance with you, the princess.

In quinceañera planning, moms have so much involvement, it’s easy to forget your dad. Don’t let this happen! Here are some tips to make him feel special:

• Choose a unique tuxedo for your dad, different from the rest of the court.
• Have a ceremony in which you pin a corsage that matches your bouquet on his lapel.
• Present him with a handmade gift made as a friendship promise.
• Write him a poem or dedicate a song.
• Pick a song other than the waltz for the special dance with your dad.

If by chance your dad cannot be with you, make a special invitation to your abuelo, tío, and padrino to honor you with the first dance and to stand with you when you acknowledge your dad, wherever he is. It’s a very mature thing to do, and everyone will be so proud!

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As with all your planning, don't wait until the last minute to look for a mother-of-the-quinceañera dress. Start shopping six months prior to la fiesta (the same time you're shopping for your own dress).

COLOR

• I recommend choosing a color that complements that of the damas' dresses. If the damas are wearing midnight blue, for example, maybe she can wear sky blue.
• Lots of moms choose to wear black because it's flattering, easy, and classic, but RESIST! This is a fiesta, after all! Black is too dramatic, and besides, there are plenty of other flattering colors to choose from, like navy.
• Choose solid colors over busy prints. It's more flattering, and prints can be distracting. Spruce up solid colors with sparkling jewelry.

FABRIC

• Winter and fall: Go for heavy fabrics, like velvet and brocades.
• Spring and summer: Go for lighter fabrics, like chiffon and silk.

SHAPE

• If she's hourglass (wide shoulders, full bust, narrow waist, and wide hips - curvy!): Go for A-line silhouettes, tailored jackets, straight skirts, and slim pants.
• If she's pear-shaped (narrow shoulders, small bust, wider hips): Focus on the upper body. Go for designs with accents at the neck and shoulders, big jewelry, or wide collars. Draw the attention upward by keeping dark colors below and lighter colors or glitter on top.
• If she's rectangle-shaped (shoulders and hips similar in width, not curvy): Give the illusion of curves to define the waist -- wear details on the bust and on the hips, or wear contrasting colors on the top and bottom. Go for tailored jackets with wide shoulders and wide lapels, or wear tops with flared skirts.

MONEY-SAVING TIPS

• Visit designers' Websites. They usually list outlets, where their dresses are sold for cheaper.
• Based on the time of day and season, your mom might be able to pull off a nice pantsuit or separates, like a skirt or pants with a nice top. It might be an outfit she could wear over and over again at the office or to church.

Tell me about your mom. What makes her special?

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From my own experience, I know there will be lots of people telling you how to celebrate your big day. To keep things organized, think about giving each family member a special role.

What better way to let them all participate in your rite of passage than to make them your "padrinos" and "madrinas"? I love the contributions that can be announced to make your relatives feel extra special.

• Ask your grandma to lend you one of her peinetas (hair combs) for your hairdo.
• Ask your aunt or uncle to present you with your última muñeca at either the church or the reception. Usually, the mom does this - but she already gets to place the tiara on your head in a crowning ceremony, so share the love!

Other relatives can:

• Present you with a rosary and prayer book or Bible during the service.
• Make a special blessing of the shoes before your heels are placed on your feet.
• Light one of 15 candles fitted on a special candelabra. Each says a prayer or wish for your life.
• Read aloud the wish notes that guests drop in a decorated wishing well for you.
• Make toasts.
• Be the master of ceremonies.
• Be greeters.
• Be gift keepers.
• Be food servers.
• Be additional photographers.

And if you have a really BIG family, one girl told me that she paired up her relatives who were not already damas and chambelanes and had them make an entrance right before the court. The MC announced them by name and relationship.

Bring some tissues - someone's bound to get very sentimental as they honor you!

Did you have any teary moments from your quinceañera? Please share them on my blog!

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